Thanks, but no thanks

Audrey asked for some help with spelling words after supper.  She was making signs for her bedroom door:

I love the heart.  It adds such a friendly touch to "dAngEr to Enemies", doesn't it?

Necessary signage completed, Benjamin (who apparently is either an honorary sister or simply a peon) then proceeded to stockpile weapons in her room.

Later while waiting for a clear spot at the bathroom sink for tooth brushing, Brynning asked me "Mama, how should I beat Audrey?"  Apparently, they're at war.  I offered my advice, gleaned from years of sibling interactions (and perhaps a few parenting books as well).  Doing my best to look wise I told him "I'm going to give you my very best advice, and it will sound boring and silly to you, but I promise if you try it, it will work.  The Bible says that we should love our enemies, and do good to those that persecute us.  So I think you should try really hard to find lots of ways to love Audrey and be nice to her."  Offering some inducement to actually follow this advice (because after all, I do know he's a medium-sized boy who really just wants to beat his sister at whatever this game is) I added "The Bible says that when we do nice things like that to our enemies, it's like heaping burning coal on their heads."  Smiling hopefully, I finished with "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

He shook his head at me for a moment.  "Good grief," he replied.  "I'm never making you a general in my army!"

See, I'm not crazy

I am trying not to spend so much time reading news stories that raise my blood pressure - partly because I've decided it can't possibly be healthy, partly because I have better things to do with my life.  I have four young children at home, I homeschool, I cook, I clean, and I try to do it all with some degree of grace.  Some days are more successful than others, but that's the goal.

However, I believe it is also true that, in this country at least, citizens have a responsibility to be informed.  We have a government that answers to us (at least in theory), and that means that we are responsible to know what is going on, and to participate in the political process.  This seems like an obvious concept to me, and I'm bothered far more by apathy than by disagreement with my personal ideas and ideals. But it is also true that I hold the ideals, and adhere to the ideas that I do, because they seem obvious and logical to me.  When I wrote my guest post for Free-Range Kids, I thought that the concerns I was expressing over the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities were obvious and clear-cut.  When people labelled me a tin-foil hat-wearing, anti-UN not-smart person (Brynning is reading as I type this), I assumed that the fault was mine for not communicating clearly.

This treaty, if signed, becomes the supreme law of the land.  Those who say it won't affect US law are just plain wrong - either they are misinformed, or they are lying.  Our Constitution explicitly states that treaties supersede not only the laws of individual states, but also the Constitution itself.

This treaty, if signed, is not binding on anyone but us.  Our signing has no affect whatsoever on any other country.  We are obliged to follow it if we sign it.  They are not.  Those who say differently, again, are misinformed or lying.

This treaty explicitly states that the government, not parents, has the right to determine what constitutes the "best interests" of disabled children, and to act on that decision.

This treaty does not define the term "disabled".

If people cannot see the problem with this, I'm not sure what else to say.  I don't know how to connect the dots to make it any more obvious that this treaty is a bad idea.  Our laws regarding disabled people are the standard that other countries strive to match.  This treaty was based on the Americans With Disabilities Act.  We don't need this treaty for disabled Americans.  And it directly threatens - in fact, eliminates - the rights of American parents to direct the upbringing of their children.

When the government begins to act as though it has the right to determine what is best for children, rather than their parents, scenarios like this one (recently reported on Fox News) are what happen. That should scare us like crazy.

In this story you have two responsible, loving parents, striving to do what is best for their son.  Their son was born with a heart murmur, and at one doctor's visit the doctor (in a confrontational, disrespectful-toward-the-parents manner - inexcusable) informed the parents that their 5-month-old needed immediate heart surgery.  They decided to seek a second opinion.  They took their son, left, and immediately went to a second hospital to consult with a different doctor.  That doctor confirmed that their son needed the surgery, but said it was fine to take him home that day.  The next day the police and CPS showed up, broke into this couple's house, and took their son into custody.  The claim was that he was in immanent danger, that his parents were neglectful and abusive.  This was based on the fact that they had...what?  Nothing.  They had done nothing that any reasonable parent wouldn't have done.  They asked a second doctor to confirm what the first, rude one had said, before subjecting their infant son to major surgery.  And they had to go to court, and the court has upheld the behaviour of CPS and the police, and returned custody to the parents only on a conditional basis. The parents are now required to comply with all "reasonable" medical advice.  Who determines what is reasonable?  Apparently not the parents.


That makes me physically ill.  If these parents can lose control of medical decisions for their son over nothing more than seeking a second opinion (immediately, let's remember - it's not as though they waited several months), then no parent is safe.  And this is what the UN CRPD seeks to make the law of our land - government, not parents, has the right and authority to determine what is best for children.  If you disagree with that idea, you should care about this treaty.  You should call your representatives, and tell them so, and ask them to vote against it.  You should not sit back, and let other people worry about it, and think that this isn't your problem.

If you don't think this treaty is a problem, if you're one of those who feels it is reprehensible that we haven't passed it already, fine.  Leave me a comment, and help me see your point of view - but do it politely.  The other thing I can't stand (besides apathy) is rudeness, and I will not interact with anyone who can't maintain at least an appearance of respect for those with whom he (or she) disagrees.

Spring Prunings

I cut all the boys' hair last week except Iain's.  Spring is on the way and, wow, they were really getting shaggy.  I have no idea when the last hair cut happened, but it has been Too Long.  Part of the reason I wait so long in between is that hair is just such a pain to clean up!  It gets everywhere (static!), sticks to everything, and you're still dealing with little bits of it for days.  We hates it.  But the boys came out looking well-pruned, and Brynning is quite pleased with the resurrection of his mohawk.  Benjamin opted for a buzz.  I was disciplined, though, and didn't take pictures this time because apparently I have felt a need in the past to document EVERY SINGLE HAIRCUT!  Apparently waiting so long between cuts means the end result is so shocking, I just feel a need for documentation.

Speaking of shocking changes, look at my picture in the side bar over there ----->  Notice the very long hair?  I love my hair long.  I think it looks classic, and feminine, and it's super super easy.  Additionally, it's inexpensive to take care of because I don't need to see a stylist.  When the split ends get bad, I just have David cut a few inches off the ends.  At one point he cut six inches off, and no one even noticed.  Yeah, I keep it pretty long.

Recently, however, I've been wanting to do something different.  I started with something relatively minor.  I went to an actual salon, and had an actual stylist cut it to shoulder length and layer it.  It was cute, and objectively speaking I could look in the mirror and see that, but I really didn't like it.  There's nothing easier than long, straight hair, it turns out, and having to actually style my hair when I wanted it to look nice was really a pain.  But I hadn't gotten over my "wanting something different" feeling.  So yesterday, I went to another salon, and (wait for it)...







 did this:

 No, it's not bangs.

 It's just really really short.  (Hi Mom!)

The last thing David said as I left was "Don't do anything too drastic."....

Well, I could have gone shorter.

Brynning pretended to pass out in a full faint when I walked in, and Audrey (when asked if she would like a similar cut) proceeded to very emphatically inform me that "Girls are supposed to have LONG hair!  And boys can have long hair or short hair, but really they're supposed to have SHORT hair!"  (Benjamin's reply:  "Well Qui Gon Jin has long hair, so there!"  Said with a pronounced upward tilt to his nose.)  When I asked who told her that she said "No one, I just figured it out for myself!"

So I'm getting mixed reviews, but I, personally, am pleased with how it turned out.  I've always wondered what I'd look like with really short hair.  Now I know.

Funny story:  The morning after cutting all the boys' hair, I opened the trash can and nearly shrieked out loud before realizing that the Very Large furry animal that had invaded my trash was actually the hair from the previous day's prunings.  Gave me quite a turn.

Oh, of course

Last week Brynning told me that he thinks I really should have 8 children, altogether.  After I caught my wind and stopped coughing, I asked for the reason behind his conclusion.  Obviously he wasn't thinking in terms of baseball, because a baseball team requires 9 players.  (Am I right?  Someone be proud of me if I am; otherwise, well, I never have been much of a baseball fan.)  Was he thinking football?  Basketball?  Soccer?  Maybe he was thinking of his cousins, and wanted to take up Lacrosse?  What sort of team was he trying to form with his siblings, that required a total of 8 players?


(Note my complete lack of knowledge regarding the actual numbers of players on any type of sport team.  My favourite sports are all solo endeavors, which says something about me, but there you go.)

No, no.  My oldest son proceeded to inform me that a Tortoise Formation, as used by the Roman infantry, requires at least 8 soldiers.  He felt it would be useful to have the requisite number of siblings, for the next time we decide to attack the barbarian hordes and conquer a piece of Europe

I need him to not see this picture.

On a winter afternoon

Today I made my eight-year-old son laugh.  I made a joke up (this never happens), and he really thought it was funny!  Curious to know what a mother can say to make a not-so-small boy chuckle?

What does a Jawa say at the health food store?  Tahini!

(If you're wondering what on earth made me think of this, I was making hummus for lunch, while discussing Star Wars with Brynning.)  This being humorous to him reveals a fascination with Star Wars that I am finding is insatiable.  What is it with those movies?  (All true fans relax - I already told them Episodes 1-3 aren't really worth bothering about.)

My sink is overflowing.  David shook his head in amazement this past weekend when, 20 minutes after starting the third full dishwasher load, the counter and sink were covered with dirty dishes again.  The laundry is overflowing, too.  The house is overflowing.  The corners are dusty.  The diningroom floor is covered with food (none of it older than yesterday, but still).  And my little people are quiet and happy, listening to Narnia radio theatre.  In a few more months, I'll be able to take opportunities like this to knit.  Next winter.  I can't wait.  :-)

Meanwhile, I'm pondering prayer crickets.  I love this idea, of choosing a verse for each family member to pray for them in the coming year.  And with that, I really should get to the cleaning.  (But I had to pause to share my joke!)

UN Knows Best...or not

I have a guest post today at Free-Range Kids, explaining why parents should be concerned about the UN Treaty currently up for ratification by the Senate, the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.  Head over there to read why parents should be opposing this, and call your senators!! 

Thanks, Lenore, for giving me the opportunity to share this concern with the Free-Range Kids community!

Anyone interesting in reading about why parents, specifically, should be concerned about this treaty can find more information at www.parentalrights.org.  Here is the page where they discuss this treaty, specifically.

Update:  Comments over at Free-Range Kids seem to be trending toward labeling me a right-wing anti-UN nut.  For the record, I would like to state that I never said anything about being anti-UN.  What I am vehemently opposed to is rather a treaty that accomplishes nothing whatsoever for disabled Americans that is not already provided by our own laws, but that would explicitly usurp the right of parents to determine what is in the best interests of their child and give it to the government.  I am rather shocked to find so few in the free-range parenting community who see the inherent danger in that.

On an explore

Sitting at the breakfast bar in my parents' dining room, with an astonishing few quiet minutes to myself.  The older three monkeys are downstairs watching Peter Pan (which has narrowly edged out Star Wars Episode IV as the movie of choice, only because they've watched Star Wars about five times this week, and Peter Pan only once).  Iain has just rolled down the single step at the base of the stairs, and is happily kicking the dog crate and playing with his fingers.  In a minute he'll get tired of being on his back, but it's possible that if  flip him over he'll play a while longer without getting upset.  Because at nearly 8 months old (merciful heaven, where did this year go?!) he's old enough for that...just barely.

True confession:  I have a journal which states on the outside that it is for mothers.  I started writing in it when Brynning was born.  I stopped after Audrey was born, and haven't written in it since because I wanted to record my memories of my pregnancy with Benjamin before I wrote anything else and, well, I just haven't gotten to it. It's a good thing I keep a blog.  Someday, my children will have a variety of my memories to look back at.  If they can manage to gather them up from all the random places I scatter my memories at any given time.

Today it is absolutely beautiful out, more like what I think the end of September should be, rather than two days before December.  So I decided to hike my children back into the woods to share some of my childhood memories.  We took my mother's poodle with us.

I got everyone into coats and shoes, popped Iain in the Ergo, and off we went on an Explore.  We were searching, not for the North Pole, but for a long straight stick that Brynning could use as a spear, to go with his new helmet.  Did you know that Greek hoplites carried spears over twice as long as the average man is tall?  Me neither.  But he can't be a Greek soldier without a proper spear, and then what will Greece do when the Persians invade?  I just hope he reenacts Marathon, rather than Thermopylae.

We hiked past Picnic Rock, took a left at the un-named pair of rocks that I vaguely remembered needing to find to get where I was going, and made it to Big Fun Rock.  (I was clearly somewhat challenged in the naming department as a child.)  Jesse (the dog) was concerned, not being sure how he was going to herd us all back to the house, since he's never been out that far before.  Clearly, I am not an Alpha person in his life, because just as the children were scrambling through the gorge to find a place low enough to climb up onto the rock, he decided he'd had enough.  He wanted nothing to do with that dark, narrow, rocky, scary place.  He couldn't rescue all of us from THAT, so he announced in no uncertain terms that he, at least, was heading home.  Whatever the rest of us might decide was our responsibility. 

The monkeys were all so excited about this enormous rock that was so perfect for climbing on.  Brynning pulled a thick pad of moss off a rock to determine that it was, in fact, growing there, and was fascinated when I told him that if he patted it back down it would regrow into the same space.  Audrey and Benjamin scrambled up the side of the gorge at a low point, and then Benjamin (wait...guess!) found the highest part of the rock, at which he was essentially standing on a cliff ten feet up in the air, to wave down to me, standing on the rocks below. 

I wanted to show them my old fort, and the spot where I used to set up a picnic lunch.  I had so much fun playing and exploring on and around that rock as a child.  There's really nothing like it near us in Indiana, and I wanted to share that experience with them.  Unfortunately, I was quite certain that my mother would not accept "He took himself home, and got lost on the way" as a reason for why her poodle disappeared, so the outing was cut short.  Jesse was clearly relieved.